Copy pastas.

Oddy

NEWS JUST IN! KIDS ARE REALLY EDGY IN 2K16!
post your favorite, copy pastas ECT.
heres mine.
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes." This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
 
One hyper-realistic morning, I opened my hyper-realistic eyes, only to find that my hyper-realistic sheets had been torn off my hyper-realistic bed and strewn about my hyper-realistic room. I decided, with my hyper-realistic brain, to jump out of my hyper-realistic bed to find the cause of this, only to notice that, when my hyper-realistic feet touched the hyper-realistic carpet, it was damp.

Looking down with my hyper-realistic eyes, I saw that it was covered in hyper-realistic blood. I opened my hyper-realistic mouth to scream, but hyper-realistic blood started to pour out, and my hyper-realistic eyes became filled with hyper-realistic blood-tears. Due to a massive loss of hyper-realistic blood, I died, and then a hyper-realistic skeleton popped out.

This was the hyper-realistic man that was haunting my hyper-realistic dreams during my hyper-realistic sleep, before I hyper-realistically woke up:
Basil_Fawlty.jpg
 
Back
Top